Off To School

For the past few years we have been home schooling. It was something I never considered until it just happened. My daughter Ashley who has severe autism and is completely nonverbal was in a somewhat abusive classroom - they were withholding lunch as punishment, among other issues. We couldn't work things out with the school and I just didn't trust them with her, especially since she couldn't tell me what was happening. She was to the point of getting hysterical every time she saw the building, so we pulled her out of school. I used to teach 1st grade, so home schooling didn't seem like too big of a challenge. It turned out to be the perfect choice and was such an amazing blessing that we decided to home school all three of our children. It wasn't always easy but the last several years of home schooling have been very rewarding. It was nice to have those extra years of family bonding. And to be able to teach them not only the basics, but also things that I wanted them to know and to put a strong emphasis on God and his role in their life. I am so glad God led us in that direction. But as the Bible tells us, there is a season for all things. Recently we started to realize maybe it was time to return to public school. Ashley just seemed to be getting bored at home. I couldn't fill her time and take care of all my other responsibilities. So we started praying and I contacted the school for information. Everybody that was involved in the situation a few years ago was gone. There is a wonderful new teacher in the Autism classroom. All of the people whom I have had contact with have been understanding, kind, and knowledgeable. It was agreed to let Ashley start slowly and build up to a full school day. A couple of weeks ago she started going 1 hour a day, 3 days a week. This week she has gone every day for 3 hours a day. She is loving it! She has a wonderful para with her all the time and an excellent staff around her that is excited to work with her. After we looked into Ashley returning to school, we decided to let Hailey and Josh go back also. Although home schooling has worked very well for my daughters, my son has not thrived in this environment. He really needs that full, structured day. And if Ashley and Josh both returned to school, we thought Hailey would be lonely at home by herself. They just started this week. So far they are very excited and loving every moment of school. They both have excellent teachers, who are really working with their special needs. I can definitely see God's hand at work through this whole process. He guided a path to home schooling for a time, and then guided us back to public school at the right time. It is so hard to stay on the same page as God at times. When we pulled Ashley out of school, I thought she would be home with me always. Then recently we started asking ourselves - What do we want for her future? If we want her to be living with us always- this is fine. But if we ever want her to be independent of us - we need to start working in that direction. The adjustment has been easier than we all anticipated. I am finally able to get some much needed rest and caught up with things at home and on the website. At the end of the day I am so excited to see my children. The lesson that I learned through all of this is: sometimes God calls you to do something for a time, but that doesn't mean he wants you to do it forever. I need to be careful to contine to walk with God and remain open to changes he wants to make in my life. When you remove yourself from the will of God, things that were at one point a blessing can very suddenly become a nightmare or vice versa when you walk into God's will. I wouldn't trade those years of home schooling for anything, but I look forward to this new season God is providing me.

Giving Thanks

This is the time of year that as a society we ponder on the things we are thankful for in our lives. The Lord tells us to always be thankful in all circumstances. That is a hard thing to do at times. Our human nature seems to like to focus on the negative and complain. But I think when we look at our lives everyone can think of many blessings they have received from the Lord. I personally am thankful for my husband. I married a wonderful man. Despite the fact that our marriage has been tested with many hardships, I can honestly say I love him more now than I did sixteen years ago when we first fell in love. He is the most important person in my life. I am also thankful for the three children we have created. It is wonderful to watch them grow and change. There are times I don't know if I am going to survive raising them, but they certainly make life full and interesting. I am thankful that I live in a place and time when we can get our children the medical help and technology they need to overcome their special needs. I am thankful Ashley has her talker and is finally able to communicate with us. She is learning more every day. Those are just the most important things that I appreciate; I can think of hundreds of more things I am thankful for every day. When I pray I always try to start with the things in which I am thankful and I try to think of new things to be thankful for each day.

Sleepless Nights

There are times when I believe we have gotten past some issue because it hasn't occurred for awhile. For example we will go through a period of good sleep or not have any toileting issues, etc. and I will think this is almost getting easy, I am so glad we are past THAT! Then we go through a period of regression where everything seems out of control again and I feel like we are right back where we started at a place I didn't particularly want to revisit. For some reason we have entered one of those periods again after having things go surprising well for awhile. All three children have had major sleep disruptions the past couple of months. If their sleep is disrupted so is mine and Jason's sleep. Hailey and Josh have settled back into a good pattern, but Ashley has not slept more than a few hours at a time in the past 6 weeks. She looks exhausted, but somehow can't sleep. Of course the more tired she becomes all sorts of skills go out the window. First she started getting cranky, then having accidents again, and finally she is not using her talker as appropriately as she should. I have been tired, impatient, and feeling frustrated. Even though I know it is a valley and we will eventually get out, right now it seems unending. First we talked to the psychiatrist, next we went to the ear doctor, and finally we ended up at the pediatrician. I have found if you present the problem to enough people someone can usually find a solution. The pediatrician discovered she has a sinus infection. I should have come to that conclusion on my own- she has been having lots of nose bleeds and eating raw onions which she always does when she gets sinus infections. Evidently I was too tired to see the signs. We had already treated her for this infection twice, so I just dismissed it. We think she has been fighting the same infection for months and we can't get it completely gone. She has been on medicine for two days now and already she is sleeping slightly better. It always frustrates me that it is so difficult to find out what is wrong since she is nonverbal. For some reason my children rarely run fevers, so we don't even get hints at what could be wrong. It however, makes me so thankful that I know this is just a phase. We will solve the problem and it will improve. It will probably never be perfect, but after the last couple months good sounds perfect to me. I remember a time when everyone was little that we would go nights where one of the three was up all night. It usually was Josh staying up late, Hailey getting up in the middle of the night, and Ashley getting up early. Then they would trade shifts - but someone was always up when I wanted to be asleep. We tried Melatonin which helped a little but not enough. We read books, got suggestions from friends all to no avail. It is amazing what you can try to get your child to sleep. But like they say you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You cannot force someone to sleep. All you can do is pray and make necessary adjustments to survive. God has a wonderful way of when you truly ( not just when you think you have) but truly have hit that wall, of giving you rest. I'm pretty sure our wall is just around the corner. We have learned an important lesson about not dismissing illness just because it has already been treated. We will all be sleeping pretty well again and we will move on to the next hurdle, I don't know if it will be better or worse, I just hope it won't involve sleep or nosebleeds. Matthew 11:28- Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

I am a mother to three children. Ashley is my oldest daughter. Hailey was born 18 months later. Then 22 months later came our son, Joshua. Ashley is nine years old and has severe autism. She is completely nonverbal, but uses a talker from PRC to communicate. Hailey is eight years old and in third grade. She has ADHD and a lot of allergies. Josh is six years old and in first grade. He has been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, and he may have some Asperger's symptoms as well. We are a Christian family. Currently, we are choosing to home school. For some reason I don't quite understand, we are the family that weird and rare things happen to. I have countless stories of strange medical issues, allergic reactions, or unbelievable things my children have done. I remember a time that seems so long ago, but really it has only been a few years, when I was struggling to care for three children all three and under, all in diapers, nobody could really talk, nobody slept well, and there were lots of "issues". At that point we did not have a good understanding of what was going on with our children and we were fighting so hard to save them from autism, etc. I felt like I was drowning. I literally had to pray before I got out of bed because I was so tired and I had no idea what I was going to have to face that day. My husband worked long hours, seven days a week. He got one day off a month. We literally were just trying to make it through the day, every day. We were trying all sorts of treatments and just trying to get a handle on our life. Today, we still have lots of "issues", but life seems so much easier. Everybody has a way to communicate and is potty trained! We understand what is going on with each child and our coping with the "issues". My husband works far less hours and is home so much more. The sleep is somewhat better, depending on the day and the child. We are truly very happy and feel very blessed. I still pray my way through each day because it is an excellent habit that has gotten me through the worst of times. I finally have some time and energy and have started a website business. The goal of our website is to help educate people about disabilities and help people who are just starting down the path we have spent years navigating. We also sell Christian products for people with disabilities and anyone else. The website is www.createdinhisimage.net. This blog is meant to go along with our website and provide additional information about the day to day life of our family and the choices we have made to get through our life thus far.