A Sister's Dream

There was another special part of the dream I had for my “perfect” family, involving my children. I always missed not being able to grow up with my sisters, and not having that day to day bond with them. I think that is one reason I wanted my children so close in age. I didn’t want them to miss one moment of each others lives. I envisioned my daughters sharing a room and giggling at night, when they should be sleeping. I thought of my kids playing games together, and I even treasured the idea of sibling rivalry. When autism hit our family this dream of mine ended. Although my children are close and love each other intensely. The giggling, games, and fighting don’t really happen with Ashley. Josh and Hailey do all of these things, but Ashley and Hailey do not have the type of sister bond I created in my mind. In some ways their bond is much stronger than what I imagined. Hailey is very compassionate and very protective of her sister. It is obvious all three of my children love each other so much and that is really what I wanted. But I still felt the loss of my dream for Hailey and Ashley. It took me many years to realize that was my dream and that it was based on something that I wanted. As a parent it is so easy to put our dreams on our children, never even realizing that their dream may be different from ours. It was not until recently that I looked at my daughters playing and realized they were satisfied and happy with what they had in each other. I am trying to remember this in other areas of my children’s lives also- what I want may be very different from what they want. It is my job to raise them to the best of my ability. It is their job to decide on their goals and dreams and pursue them. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9

Originally posted April 2011