One Busy Summer!

It has been a crazy, crazy summer! Due to all the busyness, I have not written at all. So here is the quick catch up on all the happenings. All the kids have had a great summer, enjoying their usual fun and activities. Hailey and Josh has spent most of the summer at the pool and playing with friends. Ashley has continued with swimming, and hit and miss on bike riding and horseback riding. They all had another fabulous week at camp, and can’t wait to go again next year. Jason and I continue to be so impressed and amazed at what an exceptional job Camp Barnabas does with all the kids. I have been so busy with graduate school! It was all I could do to stay up with the kids, Ashley’s school work, and my school work. It was quite the challenge to get back into the swing of being a student, after so many years of being out of school and having never attended school while being a mom. It was all I could do to get through it! But I absolutely know it was the right decision and I am loving the experience. I think we have made some good adjustments to ease the burden a bit for this coming school year, but it will still be a challenge. My coursework will be complete next summer. In addition to the coursework, I have to get 1500 hours of working with children with autism (not including Ashley), under the supervision of a BCBA. I will be traveling 85 miles 2 days a week for the next year to complete this supervision. I expect it will be exhausting, but I am very excited about the opportunity to work at this school. I have already met some spectacular professionals in the field and learned so much. It is an amazing opportunity. We have hired a woman to assist with Ashley’s care and school work. She started a few weeks ago, and is doing a wonderful job so far. We are very excited to see what direction God is taking us. We could use lots of prayers that we make it through this next year physically, emotionally, and financially. It is quite a new experience for our family. The kids are very ready to get back to their school year schedule. My classes start again next week. I am using this week to get things organized and ready for our crazy year. I am going to do my best to post blogs throughout the year, but it is definitely on the back burner. I am moving my blog back to the old blog site, just for my ease and convenience, I hope you all will join me over there.

Everybody Deserves A Voice

  I keep seeing posts on Facebook and in blogs discussing nonverbal children that appear to have minimal to no way to communicate. And I have also heard people asking for recommendations for communication apps. So I want to share Ashley's story, or at least the communication part. Ashley developed typically the first 2 years of her life. Her language was a little delayed due to all the ear infections and problems, but she was definitely learning language. Then at age 2 she started regressing, and today she is essentially nonverbal. She still says words here and there, but rarely for communication purposes and she cannot produce any words upon command. For awhile we just hoped it would come back. She was able to get her point across when she needed to eat or drink usually, so we did nothing. Then we tried PECS and sign language. She didn't have the fine motor skills to use sign language very effectively, and most people do not understand it. We had somewhat of an effective PECS system, though Ashley did not use it the way it is supposed to be implemented. However, then she ended up with so many picture cards that it was very difficult to keep track of them. One speech therapist tried some low tech devices, like "Go talkers", but Ashley didn't take to them either. Finally, we had a speech therapist recommend a high tech computerized device. Nobody had ever mentioned them before, but it turned out to be the perfect fit for Ashley. My single largest autism regret is that we did not get it sooner. Here are the usual arguments I hear against AAC devices: 1. "I want to give my child time, he may start talking on his own." Research shows that using a device will not hinder your child's ability to speak. It will actual help them learn to talk. The motor planning the child uses to work the device can help them to develop the motor planning they need to speak. 2. "My child is too low functioning to use a device." Every child not only has the ability, but also the right to learn. That child may have to work harder, as will the teachers and the parents. But regardless of the function level, every person can learn to some extent. If the child is not learning, I would suggest looking at the school, teacher, or material, not the child. A low functioning child may do better with a high functioning device because low tech devices tend to make language inconsistent and random (word placement changing), thus making it harder to learn. The device we use from the Prentke Romich Company can be simplified to the point of only showing one button, or made advance enough for a highly educated person to rely on it completely to communicate. The company utilizes a language called Unity that makes speech, and thus their devices consistent and easy to learn. I have had many people who thought Ashley was not high functioning enough to learn, and she continues to prove those people wrong every day. Please do not give up on your child just because professionals want to define their intellectual abilities. Just think how many very intelligent people were at one point thought to be slow to learn. 3. "I don't know if I can get my child to use a device." Trust me, if it is motivating and they are able to communicate they will use it. They may only use it to convey their basic needs, but that is still better than no communication. My daughter does not like computers for any purpose, but she has learned to use her talker to get her needs met. I cannot even imagine how frustrated she would be at this point without it. 4. "I cannot afford to buy a device for my child." Often times insurance covers the cost, if not you can have fundraisers. Now there are many IPAD apps that are very similar to AAC devices. We recently purchased the LAMP Words for Life App which is made by the company that sells Ashley's talker. The app was $300, but I have programmed it to be almost identical to her talker. That may still seem costly, but compared to her device that cost thousands it is very reasonable. The bottom line is if you need a car, appliance, or something for your home, you will find the money to get it. Your child needs this, find the money. 5. "I'm afraid my child will damage or break it." Your child might, and that is why you have insurance and/or a warranty. Ashley has cracked her screen 5 times. The company has fixed it. We have learned to teach her to be more careful, or to not leave it in her care under certain circumstances (meltdowns, when she is alone in her room, etc.). Sometimes you have to take a risk to see amazing results. If your child is nonverbal, please give them a chance to be able to communicate in some way. Or if you know somebody who has a nonverbal child share this with them. Although I did lots of research on every part of autism, I didn't know much about communication devices, until the SLP mentioned it. I promise it will make their life and your life easier, and so much more rewarding. If you have any questions about how to go about getting a device or an app, contact me. I would be happy to lead you in the right direction. And this is just a pet peeve of mine to leave a child without the ability to communicate, I do not get any financial gain or other compensation for advocating for devices. I just know how much it has helped my severe, nonverbal daughter, and every person deserves that opportunity. originally posted May 2013

A Couple of Things That Feel My Heart With Joy

When I went to tell Hailey good night yesterday, she read me something off Instagram that one of her camp friends had written. It was discussing how upset this girl was about the use of the word retarded because she has a sister with special needs. Of course, Hailey was passionately agreeing with her. This moment with Hailey touched my heart for two reasons. First, I am so thankful for Camp Barnabas and the friends Hailey has made there. When we first heard of the camp, we were doubtful they would even take Ashley because of her intense special needs. Then we discovered not only are they more than capable of taking care of Ashley, but they also take siblings so we parents can have a real break. I was very concerned about how much Hailey would get out of it. Now I believe she may be getting the most out of the experience. She has remained in contact with several of her camp friends through text, Instagram, and Facebook. She treasures those friendships. These are children that are growing up with special needs siblings, and can truly empathize with her experience. Most people go to camp the same week each year, so she knows once a year they will spend a week together. I believe Josh will have a similar experience when he gets a little older, probably somewhat different for boys though. Camp is truly a blessing for all of us. A rest for the parents. Ashley learns other people can care for her. And Hailey and Josh get a great week, friends who really relate to their experience, and Christian encouragement in their role as siblings of special needs. It also fills my heart with joy as I am constantly reminded that although Ashley has such a difficult existence, God has truly given her an exceptional sister and brother whom adore her. I keep waiting for the day that Josh or Hailey show signs of resentment or embarrassment regarding Ashley. But they are almost always loving, protective, and devoted to her. Especially Hailey because she is a little older and more aware. When we decided to pull Ashley from public school and have me begin graduate school, we discussed with Hailey that these decisions would definitely create a tighter budget this year. We explained to her that meant we would not be able to go to Disney World as our family vacation this year. Her response was, "Ashley is much more important than Disney World." We have also discussed with her about how important it is for her to work hard in school and get a college scholarship because we know she is capable of it. I half jokingly told Hailey that we would need all our money to go towards supporting Ashley, so she isn't homeless after we die. She said "Oh Ashley will never be homeless." And then she offered to get a job while she is in college to help pay for Josh to go to college. I quickly assured her that she is not responsible for helping out with Josh's college, even if she does have the financial means. But I am so proud of her that, even as a preteen, she is selfless enough to want to help her family and care for her sister and brother. I truly believe that the compassion that Hailey and Josh display can't be developed, it is just innate within them. And what a blessing it is for Ashley and all of us! originally posted May 2013

Our Weather/Clothing Plan

In an effort to get Ashley (13 yrs old, severe, nonverbal autism) to have more input into her clothing, we have implemented a new calendar-dressing plan. We have a calendar on our wall similar to what you would find in a typical elementary school classroom. Each day we go over the month, day, weather, etc. The weather part of the calendar came with its own word icons, and I paired them with icons for hot and cold off her communication device. Then I matched the same icons with the appropriate clothing in her closet. After we do the calendar routine each day, I prompt her to pick clothes matched with the icon for that weather. My hope is that as she learns this, she will eventually be able to pick her own clothing, and dress appropriately and independently. I'm keeping it simple for now. Eventually we will add in words like warm, cool, snowy and make clothing adjustments. And then we can move to her coordinating her own outfits. Right now I have shirts and pants/shorts that match paired together in her closet. I will let you know if it works according to my plan. It would be amazing if she learned to look at the weather, pick appropriate clothes, and get dressed with no input from anyone else. I wish I had thought of this when my other kids were toddlers. I often wonder if they think of the weather at all when they pick their clothes each day. Pictures below: [caption id="attachment_723" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Calendar/Weather"][/caption]             [caption id="attachment_721" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Talker Icons"][/caption]             [caption id="attachment_725" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Icons in Closet"][/caption]                                 originally posted May 2013

My List of Favorite Teachers

Last week, I talked about how excited we are to begin homeschooling Ashley again. We are still excited, and Ashley had a particularly awesome day today. Our church's special needs program bought the one piece of equipment she was really missing from her public school classroom; and it was in her church classroom when we arrived. She was so happy, and even verbally said "Look at this!" It was a great day for us even though she did not want to work. I also briefly discussed how frustrated we are with the public school system, which indeed we are. But through all the terrible experiences we have had through the school we also have met some amazing people. I think often times those amazing people and experiences get lost in the shuffle. As parents we get caught up in what has gone wrong, and lose sight of what went right. Now I have no intention of putting Ashley back in public school, but I want to give some amazing people credit and tell the good side. When Ashley was three years old we decided the best course of action was for her to go to school full days, five days a week. As a stay at home mom, that was one of the hardest things I have ever done - letting go of my three year old. Although I knew it was in her best interest. We were blessed with an amazing teacher who was with Ashley almost every moment that we weren't. That teacher was gracious enough to work closely with me. Together, we created a wonderful program for Ashley. She was loving, yet firm; and always knew when Ashley needed to be held (she was just a baby still) and when she needed to be pushed. She stayed with Ashley, to some extent, for two years. We will always be grateful for the time Ashley had with her. She made a difficult experience into a blessing. For the last four years Ashley has had the most AMAZING adapted P.E. teacher ever. Seriously, I would put this teacher up against any teacher I have ever met. She is in a position where she could have taken the easy route, and just given these severe kids a little exercise, and nobody would have questioned it. But instead she chooses to teach these kids so many things. Ashley can do push ups, sit ups, roller skate, bowling, square dance, and she is currently teaching her to ride a bike and working on basketball skills with her. And best of all she has taught Ashley, along with the entire special needs group how to swim. The things these can do in the pool is spectacular! They dive off a diving board, dive for rings, play ball, and tread water for seven minutes or more. This teacher has accomplished more than most people would have dared to try. And in the process she has probably saved many lives. And what does she do in her spare time? She volunteers to coach special olympics. She has been doing this for many years and it is obvious she loves these kids and her job. She has set a standard I'm not sure any teacher can surpass. She works our kids hard, and we love her for it. The next two "teachers" on my list aren't technically teachers, but they have had such a positive impact on our lives, and have taught Ashley. The first one was a behavioral specialist who worked as a paraeducator with Ashley when she was in fourth grade, and then continued to work with her at varying times until we pulled her out of school. He walked into our lives the summer before fourth grade, when all the certified teachers were not sure what to do with Ashley. He was able to work with Ashley, and help with many behaviors we were dealing with during that time. I'm not sure what would have happened if he hadn't arrived. My husband calls him the "autism whisperer" because it never ceases to amaze us what Ashley will do for him. His patience is endless. He has always been willing to advocate for Ashley and our son. He is one of the few people who really sees Ashley through the autism. To this day, she is always excited to see him. And last, but certainly not least, on our favorites list is a woman who was Ashley's paraeducator for fifth grade, and some of sixth grade. Although she was only supposed to be a para, she stepped up and did so much more for Ashley than she was hired to do. She gave Ashley consistency and structure when nobody else was around to do it. When Ashley was left without a teacher, she took on that role. She did not worry about her job description, but did what was right for Ashley. She went above and beyond the call of duty, and taught Ashley so much more than we could have ever asked. She had many days when it was just Ashley and her in a classroom, and I always knew she was working hard to make sure Ashley's needs were met. When they replaced her, it took two people to do the job she was doing alone. It is obvious that she loves Ashley, and Ashley loves her. All of these people are obviously passionate about their job and put the needs of the children first. These people have impacted our lives so much. We trust and respect them. If everybody working within the field of special education were as gifted, I cannot even imagine how far our kids would soar. The sad thing is I'm not sure the school even sees what tremendous assets these teachers are, but we parents certainly do and appreciate them beyond what words can express. Like Created In His Image on Facebook. originally posted May 2013

Homeschooling Ashley

We started homeschooling Ashley again about 6 weeks ago. There were many reasons we made this decision. But it all comes down to the fact that she was not going to be appropriately educated in the public school environment. We felt very pushed into the decision, but of course God always has a plan. I absolutely love having Ashley home with me! It is a wonderful experience to watch her learn. Ashley is very smart. Given the right environment and appropriate curriculum, she is a successful student. We have been very blessed to be able to use a room in our church as a classroom. That way we are able to separate home from school, and get out of our house some. We are fortunate that I am able to stay home to educate her. Many families do not have that option. They may require both parents to work. Or they may not feel competent to homeschool a child with significant special needs. I am able to educate Ashley, and I am more than happy to do it. But I find it appalling that Ashley, along with many special needs students all over the country are being so failed by our educational system. As parents we have to advocate for so much, and we shouldn't have to fight for their basic right to be educated, but yet we are in a continuous battle. Even with all the laws in place, I hear parents every day arguing for their child's educational rights. IEP's are routinely not followed, schools refuse to provide for the needs of the child, appropriate teachers and staff are not in place or they aren't given the support and training they need. I guess if you want something done right, it is always better to do it yourself. I am happy to be able to give my very best to Ashley. I am so excited about all the progress I am already seeing. I have so many ideas of things to do with her. It has only been a few weeks, but with each passing day Ashley and I become more content with our new lifestyle. Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted April 2013

My Thoughts On Autism Awareness

I haven’t posted much this past few months, partially because I have been very busy, and also I feel a lot has happened to our children that is not appropriate to discuss so publicly. What I can say is this: Our children for the most part are doing well. We have recently started homeschooling Ashley again, and are currently in the process of making that transition. I start graduate school this summer. I will be working towards a Masters in Special Education with an emphasis in Autism and ABA. My main goal in returning to school is to make sure I have all the knowledge necessary to protect Ashley and as many children and families impacted by autism as I can. Right now I am walking by faith that this is what God has called me to do. I am hoping over the course of the next eighteen months, while I’m in school He will direct me on what to do with this degree. But what I really want to talk about is autism awareness. As I’m sure everyone knows April is autism awareness month, specifically April 2^nd was autism awareness day. I’m sure at this point almost everyone is aware of autism from an abstract perspective. April has been a time to focus on autism for quite a few years now. And although you see it more readily- mentioned on television, posters, sayings on Facebook, etc., from my perspective not much has changed. We are 11 years into our personal battle with autism. Back then it was difficult to obtain a diagnosis, research was all over the place, and you had to fight for services for your child. 11 years later, even with all the awareness, it is STILL difficult to obtain a diagnosis, research is STILL scattered, and you STILL have to fight to receive services for your child. My daughter and all of these people have value; and they have purpose. They deserve to have a society that actively seeks to help and support them. Families that are affected by autism are devastated financially, physically, and emotionally. We are fighting as hard as we can in our own personal war with autism. We do not have the time and energy, or finances to fight the global war on autism in the manner we would like. We are counting on society helping us to fight this battle. Or at the very least, not working against us as we advocate for the things are children need and deserve. We need you to look past the word autism and see our children because they are more than just a statistic and more than just a disorder. They are children that really need to be seen. If all you can see is autism, you can't help them. Please look a little deeper. So maybe today instead of being aware of autism, we can be aware of the people autism affects. Because they are people. Autism has dramatically impacted my daughter, and my friend’s son, and my other friend’s nephew, and many other friend’s children, and many other people all over the world. I think the current statistic is 1 out of every 50 children has autism. I’m sure there is a face that pops into your mind when you hear the word autism. If you are lucky enough to not have your own face of autism to reflect upon, you are welcome to think of Ashley’s face. But please remember these are people that autism or not deserve a chance, respect and love. I hope that 11 years from now I can write that autism research and support has come so far. Because with the right support the people impacted by autism could do and be so much. Like Created In His Image on Facebook Ashley age 2 right before autism fully hit. originally posted April 2013

The Best Valentine's Day Gift Ever

Today, my lovely little girl turns thirteen years old! It is so hard to believe she is just not a little girl any more. This past year has been a tremendous year of growth for Ashley. She is saying the word "go" pretty consistently. She is dressing herself almost completely on her own. She has started doing some chores around the house. Ashley seems much happier and more aware of life around her. Each passing year brings with it many new successes, along with new worries. But she is very stable at this time. Despite the many concerns we have for Ashley and her future, we feel so blessed to have her in our family. Hailey made her birthday decorations, and Josh jumped out of bed and immediately ran to tell her happy birthday. I can't think of a more fitting day for Ashley to be born than Valentine's Day. Because everybody who takes the time to get to know her and understand her, can't help but love her. I am so glad God chose me to be her Mom. Ashley is without a doubt the best Valentine Day gift ever. Originally posted February 2013

Lessons I Have learned from Ashley About God - Part 2

In my last post, I discussed how Ashley has taught me about obedience and trust. I know that the obedience and trust Ashley shows me is what God expects from me. But Ashley has also taught me many other things about life and God as well. Ashley makes no judgments on people - ever. This is primarily because she just doesn't care what other people are doing, what they are wearing, how much money they make, where they live, etc. The only criteria Ashley uses to decide how to treat someone is how they treat her. If they are kind, she responds positively. If they are mean, she goes away or ignores them. Not only does Ashley not judge other people, she doesn't care what they think of her either. She goes about her day doing what she wants to do. She is not ashamed or embarrassed about her actions. Of course, there are times a little shame is a good thing, but so many people are so concerned about what everybody else is thinking about them; it either motivates everything they do or prevents them from doing the right thing. It is a little refreshing to watch someone who is not bogged down with the confines of what the rest of society is doing or thinking. I enjoy watching a person not living their life by some norm set in our social order. I can't imagine that today's civilization in general is terrible pleasing to God. Ashley is not arrogant or prideful. She doesn't intentionally hurt other people for her own agenda. Ashley doesn't hold a grudge, she accepts people as they come to her in that moment. She is not concerned about what happened in the past or what will occur in the future. She just does her best to make it through each day as it unfolds. These are all lessons I have learned from Ashley. And I'm certain if I chose to see the world the way she does, I would be living my life closer to the way God would like me to be. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, Philippians 3:13 "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37 Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2   originally posted January 2013

Lessons I Have Learned from Ashley about God - Part 1

We recently changed our flooring, and it left us with a gap at the threshold of our back door, until Jason got it repaired. In order to prevent the cold air from coming inside, we put a towel at the bottom of the door. What I noticed was that Ashley was the only one who consistently put that towel there. Watching her with the towel got me to thinking about her behavior. I doubt she knew why the towel was there, and of course she couldn’t question it. It appeared one day, evidently we wanted it there, and so she put it there. There are many things around our house that she does like this. She just watches us, and follows what we do. She never needs a reason or an explanation. There are things we ask her to do, that she immediately does. Of course, since she is nonverbal, she can’t question why or argue about it. And most of the time she seems completely fine with stopping what she is doing, and performing whatever task we ask. She usually doesn’t complain, argue (in her way), or put it off to a later time. And most of the time she does not know or understand the purpose around it. She just trusts us and does it. There have been a lot of things we have asked of her, that I’m certain I would question or fight. There are times what we ask Ashley to do is scary or painful, for example the medical procedures. And she may resist these to the point where we have to coax her or calm her down, but many times I know she could fight much harder if she wanted. But instead she chooses to obey what we have asked. Over the years, she has learned fighting doesn't change the end result, and just makes the process harder. Pondering all this, I realized that is exactly what God wants from us, just to do what he asks in obedience, regardless of whether we know or understand the purpose or the outcome. He wants us to be able to trust Him to the point where we don’t question why, even if it is really painful to go through at that time. That is really hard to do; I have met and heard of a few people who seem to have this faith. But most of us get stuck in the why or purpose of it or we have a counter plan that we offer. I know that God loves us, however we respond, but I think it pleases him just a little more when we have the trust and faith just to unquestioningly obey, not even caring what the purpose is. Of course, in my mind I was aware of this, just watching how Ashley responds to the world around her makes it just a little clearer to me. Maybe I should follow my daughter's example and stop fighting the process, since it doesn't change the end. 19 So Jesus explained, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does. 20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him everything he is doing. In fact, the Father will show him how to do even greater works than healing this man. Then you will truly be astonished. John 5:19-20 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. Isaiah 55:8 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5 Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted January 2013

Just A Thought on School Shootings

I have seen quite a bit of discussion on the internet and through the media about the school shooting in Connecticut. I have heard most people blaming gun laws and the parents, and just a handful of people have brought up the mental health factor. The truth is none of us can know for certain the factors that led up to the events of last Friday morning. Maybe his parents really did a terrible job of raising him, or they did not get him the treatment he needed. Or maybe it was just the easy access to the guns, and if the guns had been unavailable, nothing would have occurred. Personally, I seriously doubt any of these scenarios. I think the majority of society is very unaware of how difficult it is to live with a loved one who has mental illness or any type of special needs for that matter. And how painstakingly difficult it is to get any type of help for said loved one. I am a parent of special needs children. I am a person who has listened to and heard stories from other people all over the country who have children with special needs. In 10 years, I have never once heard anyone say that they easily received support and services for their child. I have heard many stories of people seeking help for years only to be largely ignored, misled in options, or not given any viable options. More often than not, if you believe your child needs help, you are looking at waiting months, even years to get into a doctor just to start the process. And that is only the beginning, next you have to have them believe you that a problem exists, and then try to get services and support, not only from doctors and therapists, but also from the schools. All of those people have to be in agreement for anything to really happen. You find yourself battling the very people who are supposed to be there to help you. All of this is happening while that parent is living under excruciatingly stressful and exhausting circumstances, for years on end. It is an unending, lonely, heartbreaking experience. I cannot imagine any loving parent living with someone who is that unstable, and not seeing serious warning signs. And if that loving parent is living with these circumstances, I would bet they sought help at some point, on some level. And I would also bet that our current system only helped at a minimum, or actually made the problems worse for that family. This may sound harsh to say, but we live in a pretty self-absorbed society, where, for the most part, people only really pay attention to the needs of others when those needs affect them or when they can relate to those needs on some personal level. As long as those parents are able to keep the stress and chaos confined within their home, nobody really understands or cares. However, when the problem affects society at large then suddenly something needs to be done. Unfortunately, by then it is way too late. The problem should have been looked at years earlier, when that family first started looking for help. I do not mean this to take away from the victims in the Connecticut shooting, or any victim of a crime. What occurred was devastating, and should never have happened. It is heartbreaking that so many people are being impacted by one person’s mental illness. We cannot go back and change what has already happened. However, we can try to prevent such tragedies in the future. I doubt changing gun laws or blaming parents will alter anything. But I know looking at the services and supports people with mental illness receive would make a difference. I am certain many crimes and tragedies would be prevented. So if you are a parent with healthy, happy children, I hope you see what a blessing that is. But look beyond your family to the families around you, look and listen. You may see families that you believe aren’t parenting effectively. You may see families that look like they have it altogether, but really don’t. Some of those families may be begging for some help. Other families are very quiet about their struggle because they are embarrassed or have learned that no one really understands or cares. Be aware that some families are struggling; maybe you can be of some help. Those families deserve our attention and concern. As a society, we need to stop looking at the gun or the parents, and look at the person who is mentally ill. We need to provide help and services to that family, so they never get to the point where they cause such destruction. Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted December 2012

Thoughts on My Children

My favorite legend is the Tale of Three Trees because it always makes me think of my own three children. For those of you, who are unfamiliar with this story, I will share a quick version. However, they are far more poetic and longer versions of the same story. Once upon a time there were three trees who all had a dream of what they wanted to be someday. Tree 1 hoped to be a beautiful treasure chest that would be filled with gold, silver, and precious gems. Tree 2 hoped to be a strong ship that would carry great kings and sail mighty waters. Tree 3 hoped to grow straight and to be the tallest tree in the forest pointing people toward heaven. Time passed and one day woodsmen came and cut down the trees. They were each made into something that was far from their dreams. Tree 1 was made into a feedbox for animals- not a beautiful treasure chest filled with treasure. Tree 2 was made into a small fishing boat - not a strong and mighty ship to carry great kings. Tree 3 was cut into long, large beams and left alone in the dark- no longer a tall, straight tree in the forest. Many years passed by, and the three trees forgot about each of their dreams. But God had not forgotten. One starry night in a Bethlehem stable, Tree 1 held the greatest treasure in all the world - Baby Jesus. One evening a great storm arose, and Tree 2 didn't think he could keep his passengers safe, then one man who had been asleep in the boat arose, and he calmed the storm; and the tree knew that he carried the King of Kings across the waters. Finally Tree 3 was made into a rugged cross, and a man was nailed to it. High upon a hill, he died upon that cross. When Sunday morning came the tree knew that it was Jesus that had died for everyone upon that cross. So the tree would always be a symbol that would point people toward Heaven. God always had a plan for the three trees. They thought their dreams were forgotten, but God had a different plan to fulfill their dreams. As a mother, I had hopes and dreams for my three children. At times, it is easy to believe that due to their special needs and the circumstances of our lives that they will not be able to accomplish those hopes and dreams. This story reminds me that sometimes the hopes and dreams we have are very small compared to the grand plan that God has for us. And just because it may appear that are dreams are lost in the shuffle of life, does not mean that is actually true. I have faith that all the hopes and dreams I have for my children will come to pass; it may just not be in the way that I imagined. But I'm certain God's plan is even better than I could ever imagine on my own. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3: 5-7 For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 Three thing will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9 Like Created In His Image on Facebook Originally posted December 2012

September/October News

I have not checked in lately because things have been so crazy at our house. The school year has not been great so far, but that is a whole different story. A story I hope to get to tell soon. The many meetings have kept me very busy. But for today I will do a quick catch up on events in our lives. Ashley is actually doing very well! We have had some school changes, but they appear to be causing me more stress than her. Her behavior has been excellent. Sleep seems to be going downhill ever since we put the pool away for the winter. She did swim into the beginning of October. She competed in Special Olympics Bowling and did amazingly well. She has also started therapeutic horseback riding, and loves it. Josh has been having a hard time across the board. He is struggling with self-control and anger. We are trying some different strategies, and hoping to get him calmed down a bit. Things are slightly better, but we have a long way to go. The poor kid just needs to get out of his own way. He participated in flag football and did okay, and his grades were surprisingly good considering all the school issues he has had. We made the difficult choice last week to put him back at the behavior school. This decision was not made based on his behavior, but because we were dealing with so many school issues. He participated in the decision, and is much happier. Oddly, our real news involves Hailey. We decided to take a late vacation to South Dakota at the end of September. The vacation itself deserves its own post. We were in Hot Springs, South Dakota, and decided to go to a water park. While going down a water slide, Hailey’s foot got stuck. It ended up hyperextending her leg. We knew immediately, that she significantly damaged her leg. So we cut our vacation short, and got her home to a doctor. She has a tibial plateau fracture, and some ligament and muscular damage. She was in a great deal of pain for several weeks. She was unable to walk for almost 6 weeks. There was concern because the swelling was compressing an artery making her circulation slower. And of course, blood clots can always be a worry with these types of injuries. But now she is finally off the crutches, and doing much better. She began swimming again this week. The leg is still very weak, but there shouldn’t be any permanent problems. Although she did significant damage, it could have been much worse. Like Created In His Image on Facebook     Originally posted November 2012

Endless Cycle - Busy, Busy and More Busy

Things have been pretty crazy around here! The summer stayed busy, busy, busy. Everyone had a good summer. Ashley seems to be learning things nonstop. Be that good or bad, I'm not sure. She is showing a lot more independence. She is attempting to cook and has learned to unlock all sorts of things in our house. We have had many moments of, "Yay, she's learning! Oh no, we need to catch up." Nothing quite like seeing Ashley locking the fridge back, when the whole reason it was locked was to keep her out in the first place. I thought school getting started back would put us on a more structured schedule, but somehow things seem more stressful. School has not began well. I have had lots of meetings, and am already concerned where the school year is heading for Josh and Ashley. Ugh, these battles seem never-ending! Josh also has his last ear procedure scheduled this Friday. So it seems there are a lot of different things competing for the top of the priority list. And there are so many things I would like to get done. Maybe someday, I'm certain things will calm down soon. They have to, right? Like Created In His Image on Facebook   originally posted September 2012

Happy Birthday To Hailey

Today is my Hailey's birthday. It is hard to believe she is already 11 years old. As much as I love the snuggly little babies, there is something special about watching your child grow into their own person. There are traits from Jason and I in her, and then many things that are all Hailey. For the most part, she is a fun and amazing child. I couldn't have a better daughter. I have so much respect for the person she is becoming. She is a lot of fun, now that she is getting to an age, where she is closer to an adult than a child. She is interesting to talk to, and has legitimate opinions to express. It is true that every stage of development has its good and bad parts. I know I may live to regret these words, but I'm kind of looking forward to what the teen years have in store for us with Hailey. I kind of think that bragging about your kids can become obnoxious. But since this is all about Hailey, for today, I think it is only appropriate to name some of her successes. She is a Christian, and I see that in her heart every day. She treats those around her with compassion, love, and respect. She is amazing with her somewhat difficult siblings. She is a good friend, and highly forgiving person She helps around the house without complaint. She is exceptionally responsible and mature, yet still very silly and fun. She is a straight A student, not one B on a report card in her life. She got a 100% on her Math state assessment this year, and was 93% or above on the other state assessments this year. She is an excellent swimmer. She got female swimmer of the year in her age group, for the second time, this year. She was actually undefeated in the breast, butterfly, and freestyle stroke. We are very proud to be blessed with Hailey as our daughter. Originally posted August 2012

Camp Update

The kids had their, now, annual trip to Camp Barnabas a few weeks ago. I'm just now getting caught up enough to write about it. Last year they were not able to go to the main camp site, but this year we registered early and they were able to go to it. The main site is so much nicer- air conditioning and bathrooms in all the buildings, including the cabins, also many more things to do and a bigger pool. So we knew Ashley would be more comfortable. Of course, Hailey and Josh had a blast, and made lots of friends. They can't wait to go back next year. Hailey thought it was really cool to meet other kids who have siblings with autism. The Camp Barnabas does a great job of taking care of the special needs, and also making it a lot of fun for everyone. Ashley still wasn't enthusiastic about being there, but she tolerated it so much better. They did not have to give her any emergency meds to calm her down. She had the sweetest girl working with her. When we came to pick her up, I could tell they had really connected. She stayed with us until we left. She said Ashley was very obedient all week. She has also emailed me to say how much she enjoyed being with Ashley. I'm hoping we get the same girl next year. She said she would be back next year, and, of course, we will be also. All the people at Camp Barnabas are so kind and loving. They are all enthusiastic to be there. There is something very reassuring about seeing people connect with your special needs child. People that don't have any connection to you, or any reason to be part of your child's life, except that they choose to be. I'm certain that the best people in the world are at this camp. Hailey and Josh have a great time. Ashley learns to be with other people and separate from us. Jason and I get a little break. We can't wait to return next year. I would highly recommend this camp to anyone who has special needs children. I believe it is so rewarding and enriching for everyone involved. Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted August 2012

Happy Birthday To Josh

Today is my son's birthday. I find it hard to believe my youngest child is 9 years old. I think in some ways my children's birthdays are more important to me than to them. Obviously, they are excited about a party and presents. But I vividly remember their entrances into the world, and those days hold a special place in my heart. With each child are lives changed dramatically and permanently. That old saying that the days go slow, but the years go fast is particularly true in raising children. I sometimes find myself saying something about having young children, and then I realize, they really are not young children anymore. We are closer to teen years than we are to the toddler years. Sometimes I miss the little babies they were, but I would never want to go back to those years. Raising Josh has certainly been an experience. There have been a lot of hard days, and a lot of amazing days, but not too many days between those extremes. He is definitely an intense, challenging child. And although that can make him really difficult to raise, it also is what makes him so much fun. Life with Josh is full of surprises, and never boring. I can't even begin to imagine what we have in store for the rest of his life. I know that God has a spectacular plan for Josh. So I pray thar Josh is able to channel his energy and focus on becoming the extraordinary man which I know he can be. Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted July 2012

Ashley Needs a Pool

Okay, so I have not done a good job of keeping up the blog this summer. Things are going better than expected; however, we are so busy in June. I can barely keep up with everything, and computer time is what has been dropped. But I have a great story; I have wanted to share. All three of my kids love, love, love swimming. It is an excellent sensory release for Ashley in particular. So every year, we go to the city pool almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day. Josh and Hailey can go there alone, but of course, I have to go with Ashley. Now sometimes this is fun, but daily it gets exhausting to chase her around. She loves the slide, but doesn’t wait in line well. So Ashley at the pool is a lot of work on my part. At the end of last summer, Jason finally agreed we could get an above ground pool this summer. Then at the end of spring, he told me that we would have to have a couple of trees removed first. Between the tree removal and the cost of the pool, there was no way a pool was in the budget for this summer. I was so disappointed because I really thought we needed a pool. And I truly believe God provides us with what we need; he has proven this point to me countless times in our life. Just sometimes God and I are not on the same page as to what a need is and what a want is. I was afraid this was one of those times. Frustrated, I continued to pray about this matter. The very next day, Ashley’s adaptive P.E. teacher told me, she knew someone, who knew someone who was selling a used above ground pool. I checked into it, and the price was good enough that we decided that even if it just lasted for this summer it was worth it. And the trees wouldn’t even have to be a concern yet. Within a week, we had a pool. It is a great experiment with very little financial risk. It gives us time to decide if we really want a pool, learn the upkeep, etc. with little commitment. So far I have learned that my kids love it. Someone is constantly in it. Ashley sleeps through the night if she has continuous access to a pool. (The one day we had to drain it, and she couldn’t use it, she was up in the middle of the night. I even took her to the city pool for an hour, but it wasn’t enough stimulation.) Obviously, we need an in ground, heated pool to appear in our yard, so she can sleep all year, instead of just the summer. Evidently, God and I were on the same page, the pool was a need! And God always provides the things we need! I’m going to keep talking to him about that heated pool. Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow.... Matthew 6:31-34 And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. ?Now to our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Philippians 4:19-20 Like Created In His Image on Facebook   Originally posted June 2012

First Week of Summer

This is just going to be a short update; it has been a crazy week and doesn’t seem to be letting up soon. Well we seem to be making it through the first week. We haven’t had as much fun as I intended yet. I am not getting any down time. But everybody is getting where they need to be. And everybody is also getting along so far! I am hoping as we get into the swing of things, more fun time for everyone will be added into our schedule. We have made it to the pool every day this week so far. Even today, although it is only 70 degrees outside, we went swimming and it was very cold. Or at least that is what the kids told me, I am not crazy enough to get in that water! We have had dance class and recital pictures, softball practice, basketball camp, 2 baseball games, and swim team practices, all since Tuesday. Tomorrow, we have a doctor’s appointment 200 miles away, that always makes for a long day. Then this weekend we have a dance recital, softball tournament, and Josh is going to a sleepover party. Monday, Josh and Hailey leave for a church camp. It should be interesting (and much calmer) to be down to just Ashley for 5 days! Usually the first week is really hard. Maybe my hope will finally payoff – it looks like it is going to be a really good summer for us! Now, hopefully, I can just keep Ashley entertained for the summer. Like Created In His Image on Facebook Originally posted May 2012

Survival of the Fittest

Well, summer is here again. And just like every other summer for the last few years, I am telling myself that we are going to stay structured and organized. We are going to get some things accomplished and have some fun. I am going to be able to pay attention to the house, kids, and everything else in our lives. Because truly that was the mom I had planned to be. The Mom, which was in control, but still had fun. I planned to do arts and crafts and day trips to zoos and museums. My children would be well-behaved and obedient, and therefore we could easily do lots of fun things. But somehow summer comes, and we go crashing wildly out of control, and I’m left just holding on for dear life, until the school year rescues us from our chaos. It has happened so often that I approach summer with a quiet sense of dread. I still plan and hope that somehow this summer will be different. I even know what I’m doing wrong – we pack too many activities into June, and by the time it is over, we are so out of control there seems to be no way to get back into sync. Of course, I do this because Josh needs to have every moment planned; he does poorly with unstructured time on his hands. Hailey wants to do everything, and since Josh is, it is hard to say no. That leaves Ashley and me struggling to hold on for the ride. Unfortunately, Ashley has very little going on in the summer, and I’m too busy shuffling the other 2 around, so she is really just bored out of her mind. Her summer school is a little more evenly spaced out this year, so that should help. The kids are older, so that should help too. Although I hope and I plan, I’m not holding my breath. I’m beginning to think I just have the wrong type of kids to be the Mom I wanted to be, or maybe it is just me. I guess time will tell if I still post at least 1 blog weekly, you will know we are surviving. Like Created In His Image on Facebook   originally posted May 2012

My Son, Josh

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have decided to write posts about what I have learned from each of my children, and the things I respect most about each of them. I started with Ashley, and then it was Hailey’s turn, today I am focusing on Josh. Josh is something else, and parenting him certainly takes us to a variety of extremes. We had a developmental specialist tell us that he would probably become an extraordinary man, if we survived raising him! The specialist told us this when he was 2 years old, and right she was. I’m certain he will be amazing, but not so sure we will survive. There are so many things about Josh that I respect. He is compassionate, empathetic, protective, and fearless. There have been so many times that he has stood up to much older kids to protect his sisters. He is the first to show those around him understanding and compassion. And he is so very forgiving to everyone around him. He is also very polite, grateful, and charming. This is probably why so many people enjoy him so much, even though his behavior can be so challenging at times. He is persistent, curious, and has more energy than any person should ever have. He is so smart and has an amazing memory. From raising Josh, I have learned that not everything is black and white or good and bad. I have also learned that sometimes you have to fight really hard for your kids, and sometimes you just have to back off and let them find their way. People aren’t always going to understand Josh. It is my job to surround him with the people that not only get him, but love him, challenges and all. Children are a gift of the Lord. Psalm 127:3 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Galatians 6:9 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you? Matthew 18:33 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted May 2012

My Daughter, Hailey

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have decided to write posts about what I have learned from each of my children, and the things I respect most about each of them. I started with Ashley, and today is Hailey’s turn. Hailey is an amazing child. She is successful at almost everything she tries. She is a hard worker and responsible. She does well in academics, sports, and has a lot of friends. In our house, she is the easy child, usually. The great thing about the easy child is they don’t fight against you all the time. But at the same time you don’t get that real sense of accomplishment when they achieve something – she would have done it regardless of my effort. I truly respect Hailey’s individuality. She is completely comfortable in her own skin, and has no problem going against the crowd. I have just never been that at ease with myself. Hailey is also one of the kindest, most compassionate people I have ever met. Sometimes I wonder how much of these characteristics were innate within her, and which ones came about as a result of having a sister with significant special needs. Having Hailey in our family is like having a little ray of sunshine. She has taught me to not take life so seriously, and that you can be really responsible and really silly at the same time. And that if you are really stubborn and set a goal (no matter how impossible it may seem) you can accomplish it. Hailey never stops surprising me, I am certain she will have an incredible life, no matter what comes her way. Here are some verses that make me think of Hailey- Children are a gift of the Lord. Psalm 127:3 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 Blessed are those whose hearts are pure. They will see God Matthew 5:8 I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, ... to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31 Like Created In His Image on Facebook Originally posted May 2012

My Daughter, Ashley

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have decided to write posts about what I have learned from each of my children, and the things I respect most about each of them. I am starting with Ashley since she is my firstborn, and the child that made me a mother in the first place. Ashley is a beautiful child, full of personality. She also suffers more and has to work harder than most people ever will. I respect how hard she tries to do things, which other children do easily. When people pay attention to her and love her, she lights up and tries so hard to keep them happy with her. I have learned so much from her. I have learned that life doesn’t always go according to my plan, but that we survive and go on to live a different plan. I have learned that when things don’t come easy, you just have to keep trying. Ashley has taught me a lot about pain and loss, but even when things are at their worst, you can still choose to take delight in the little things. I now realize both, how amazing and how cruel people can choose to be. I have met some of the most amazing people in the world through Ashley. Raising Ashley is stressful, exhausting, and intense. But I am a better person because of her. Ashley has taught me about faith, hope, and love. Not the word, “love” that our society likes to throw around, but true, unconditional love that is spoken of in the Bible. Ashley will never be the little girl I expected. I will never be the mother I anticipated. We have both accepted a different reality. Ashley can give very little back to me because she is so affected by autism. But I couldn’t possibly love her more than I already do, even if she was developing typically. I love her simply because she is my daughter. I do not need anything else from her. 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. 11 When I was achild, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I putaway childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzlingreflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c]All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. 13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love. Like Created In His Image on Facebook   originally posted May 2012

Camp Barnabas

Last year, my kids all went to Camp Barnabas. It is a wonderful camp for special needs children and their siblings. They have several locations in the United States. I would highly recommend it to any family with special needs children. Ashley was well taken care of during the week she attended. Additionally, Hailey and Josh had so much fun. It was amazing to see other people interacting with and enjoying my kids. Jason and I really enjoyed our much needed time of rest. Last year, I was so anxious because I had never left my kids anywhere. But they did really well, and the camp was amazing with them. They also have a system where you can check on your kids through email. It was nice to be able to hear that things were going well. The camp even handled Ashley not sleeping beautifully. It was such a positive experience that we enrolled them for this summer on the first day of registration in September. If you have special needs children you should check out the Camp Barnabas website. They may have a few opening left for this summer. They are obviously more expensive than regular camp, but they do offer camp scholarships. Like Created In His Image on Facebook Originally posted May 2012

Amazing People In our Lives

On my last blog, I concentrated on some of the negative and positive reactions we have received because of Ashley’s autism. Today, I want to discuss more about the positive things people have done recently. These people certainly deserve the recognition for their efforts, plus it is always better to focus on the positive, instead of the negative. My first story is about 2 of Hailey’s friends. Of course, the girls have known each other most of their lives, and thus have grown up knowing Ashley, because of this, they are not scared or intimidated by autism. The other day these 2 girls spent the night with Hailey. Ashley woke up at 4:00 in the morning. I had a late night before, so I really did not want to be up at 4. I let Ashley out of her room and turned on her music, and then I went back to bed. Every few minutes, she would come in and ask me for something. I would get up and help her, and then go back to bed. It’s not great sleep, but better than nothing. About 7:30, I woke up and realized I had been asleep for about an hour. At first I was surprised Ashley had left me alone that long. Then I heard voices, and realized the girls were taking care of Ashley. Hailey was still asleep, but when her friends got up, they started getting Ashley whatever she wanted. They also helped her put some clothes on (she had taken them off). She kept them busy, but they never complained, and took great care of her. They were so sweet with her, and let me get some much needed rest. I was so impressed with the kindness and generosity they showed Ashley and me. Almost all of Hailey’s friends go above and beyond to help Ashley and be kind to her. I think that says so much about their compassion and maturity. I have no doubt all of these girls are becoming fabulous young women. We also took Ashley skating recently. Going places when I’m not sure how she is going to react is not my favorite thing, especially when she hasn’t been sleeping well and I’m tired. But I was taking Josh, and saw that there weren’t very many people there, and I know she should practice the skills she learns in adaptive P.E., so I went home and got Ashley. The owners didn’t charge us anything for entry or skates, since we didn’t know how she was going to react. They also offered assistance, and asked if she was okay with the lights and music. The other children there were very curious, but kind. She did well. It was such a positive experience for both of us. This past weekend, there was an Autism Walk to raise money for the kids in our community. The amazing thing was the entire event was put on by three of the paras at our schools. These were hourly employees, who already don’t get much respect for the hard work they do. But they chose to go the extra mile and volunteer to sponsor an event to benefit the kids, they have come to know and love through their job. They put a lot of hard work and personal hours into this event, and did a great job. I’m so impressed with all their effort, and very proud to say 2 of those 3 paras work with Ashley. I couldn’t ask for a better team around her. And last, but certainly not least I have to mention our church, and the many friends I have that help us care for Ashley. Ashley is blessed to be surrounded by so many people who love her unconditionally, and truly want what is best for her and the rest of our family. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Galatians 6:9 Like Created In His Image on Facebook - Originally posted May 2012

How Other People Impact Ashley and Autism

I have concentrated on the facts and emotions of autism for this awareness month. So for my last “awareness” blog, I want to talk about other people and their reaction to autism. There seems to be 3 main reactions – There are the amazing people who choose to uplift and love people with autism or any special need for that matter. These are people that choose to love and accept our kids. They show them respect and dignity and make their life better by participating in their life whether it be in small ways or large active roles. I can think of strangers who have taken the time to ask questions or speak to us. Teachers, who have dedicated their personal time and energy to go beyond the call of duty. There are friends and family that have treated Ashley with such kindness. To those people I want to say thank you. You are a blessing in our lives and to our kids. You will never know how much it means to us to have you walking with us and choosing to help our kids. There are people who just choose to ignore them, and not participate in their lives. They act like special needs people are not really people. They may not be actively mean, but they are also not helping those kids. Some people just may not know a child with special needs, so they do not know how to react. But to those of you that have someone with special needs in your family or social circle, but are doing nothing you are hurting that child and that family. That family and child need your support. You have no idea how much your indifference hurts us. That child needs all the love he or she can get. I think the Bible says it better than I ever could – ³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ ³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ ⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ ⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ ⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ ⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ ⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life. ” Matthew 25:34-46 Then there are the people that actively choose to abuse special needs people. They treat them with contempt. They get impatient, angry, and annoyed. They hurt the most defenseless people in society. To make it even worse, a lot of these abusive people are in positions where they work with special needs people. They are people who we think we can trust our children with, until we find out, often too late, that we really can’t. I think the verses above apply to this group of people as well, but we could probably add - 6 “But whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me—it would be better for him if a heavy millstone[a] were hung around his neck and he were drowned in the depths of the sea! Matthew 18:6 How you treat someone with special needs says a lot about your character and morals. These people cannot stand up for themselves or take care of themselves. They already struggle enough in life, the least we can do is surround them with love and kindness. I believe there is truly no more rewarding experience in life than to participate in the life of one of these people. They deserve the same respect and dignity as everyone else. If you believe my daughter or some of these other children are not good enough, I’m certain that says a lot more about you than them. My daughter, Ashley, has been blessed to have many amazing people in her life. I am honored to know these people. But she has also been treated badly or neglected and ignored by people as well. As Christians we choose to forgive those people and their ignorance. But as her family it deeply hurts us. Like Created In His Image on Facebook originally posted April 2012