Encounters with Strangers

During the month of June we spend many evenings out at the ball field watching Hailey play softball and Josh play baseball. This is not really Ashley’s favorite thing to do, but she is forced to go. So usually she is not in a very good mood, this has been exasperated this year due to the extreme heat (which she also hates). Our worst experience occurred the other night. She had been up most of the night before, and had a long day, so she was already cranky when it was time to go to the game. She managed to sneak her blanket to the car. We have worked hard to get her to give up carrying her blanket everywhere, so we couldn’t let that go. We returned the blanket to the house, and headed for the ball park. By the time we got there, she was gearing up for a full meltdown. Jason coaches Hailey’s team so I was on my own with Ashley. I really just wanted to take her home, but it is important to Hailey for me to be there. And we just can’t sit at home every time Ashley is upset, or we may never leave the house. The full meltdown occurred right at the entrance of the sports complex. So I got her onto the grass and let her throw her tantrum. I gave her some “emergency” medication and was waiting for it to take affect. We got quite a few stares and dirty looks. One older woman gave us a disgusted look and loudly said, “Really?” Then she walked a little further, poked the man with her, pointed to Ashley, and said, “Really?” again with so much disgust. I find situations like this so hurtful and infuriating. Our day was already difficult. Why a complete stranger would feel justified in making comments about a situation, when she has no idea what is happening, is difficult to comprehend. It certainly didn’t help our situation or make Ashley stop. When we were discussing it later, Josh said he thought the women must have special needs and Hailey said that everyone who heard the story thought what the women did was much worse than what Ashley was doing. I think my children have a lot more wisdom than some adults out there. Every time I think of the evening I try to refocus my thoughts away from the rude people and the dirty looks and remember the friends I ran into that treated us with kindness and love. But it is still hurtful to have such disgust directed at your child, who is doing all they can to make it through a very difficult life. It brings to mind the old saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” And he will answer, I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me. Matthew 25:46 Originally posted July 2011