I am very much a planner. I like to have goals and a direction in everything I do. I do not like surprises at all. I’m one of those read the last page of the book to see how it ends people. I’m certain that as long as I know what is coming, I can handle anything. That is the scary thing about life. You never know what is coming, and thus cannot prepare for it. If I’d known where my life would be today, I would have done many things differently.
First I would have been a lot more financially responsible in my early 20’s. Having special needs children our career and finances has not gone as expected. And you can never have enough money to cover all those needs. A nice saving before things went crazy would have been nice.
Second, I would have had a lot more fun. I was always very goal driven. I never really stopped to smell the flowers, always thinking I could do it after I finished the next goal. Now my life has been overtaken by other responsibilities, and there are things that will probably never happen.
Third, I would have done a better job of conserving my energy, when we first discovered the special needs. I approached it as a sprint, when really it is a marathon. Every year I get a little more tired, and it is nowhere near ending.
Last, but certainly not least, I would have soaked up every moment with Ashley that first couple of years before autism profoundly changed her. I thought I had all the time in the world, but I didn’t.
I guess we can never know where life is heading, and we certainly can’t change the past. I just have to remember that God has a perfect plan, and that it will all work out in the end. Isn’t that what faith is all about – believing in a future we cannot see?
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actuallyhappen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1
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Originally posted April 2012
I am very much a planner. I like to have goals and a direction in everything I do. I do not like surprises at all. I’m one of those read the last page of the book to see how it ends people. I’m certain that as long as I know what is coming, I can handle anything. That is the scary thing about life. You never know what is coming, and thus cannot prepare for it. If I’d known where my life would be today, I would have done many things differently.
First I would have been a lot more financially responsible in my early 20’s. Having special needs children our career and finances has not gone as expected. And you can never have enough money to cover all those needs. A nice saving before things went crazy would have been nice.
Second, I would have had a lot more fun. I was always very goal driven. I never really stopped to smell the flowers, always thinking I could do it after I finished the next goal. Now my life has been overtaken by other responsibilities, and there are things that will probably never happen.
Third, I would have done a better job of conserving my energy, when we first discovered the special needs. I approached it as a sprint, when really it is a marathon. Every year I get a little more tired, and it is nowhere near ending.
Last, but certainly not least, I would have soaked up every moment with Ashley that first couple of years before autism profoundly changed her. I thought I had all the time in the world, but I didn’t.
I guess we can never know where life is heading, and we certainly can’t change the past. I just have to remember that God has a perfect plan, and that it will all work out in the end. Isn’t that what faith is all about – believing in a future we cannot see?
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actuallyhappen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1
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