One gift I have received being the parent of special needs children is my ability to cherish seemingly minor things in life. Even big moments like when your child accomplishes something new, or hits a special milestone are just a little more exciting for us. I know every parent is excited when their child walks or talks for the first time, but imagine if you have to wait 5 or 10 years for that moment. Or if you have a child that never speaks, what it means to you when your other child does say mama or dada. Parenting a special needs child is scary and stressful. You are forced to do things you could never imagine like cleaning poop off everything imaginable, changing diapers on a 7, 8, or 9 year old, living on no sleep for years on end, etc. I could go on and on. Very few people have a realistic picture of this lifestyle. I have to wonder where my daughter is going to fit in this world. I am constantly afraid for her safety. I wonder if my son will ever get control of his emotions, maintain good friendships, be like other little boys, and be successful. But on the other side of all that stress, I have wonderful moments. My 12 year old is finally potty trained day and night. She learned to jump rope and square dance this year. She appeared to be almost swimming. She has started to kiss us (kind of). She is dressing herself. My son went a day without a meltdown. He walked away from a fight. He got straight A’s on his report card. These moments would not be nearly as special if we had not fought so hard and so long for them. I love my daughter, Hailey. She does many wonderful things that we are very proud of her for doing. But when she learns something new, we are not surprised. We expect it, because we always knew she would be able to do it. As much as I love her, and consider her a light in our life, it is just not the same as when Ashley achieves something. And Hailey is special enough to understand this, because she also cherishes her sister’s accomplishments. Yesterday, Ashley brought us deodorant and then raised her arm, and we were excited because she knew what it was and where it went and was more than willing to wear it. Who else but a special needs parent would get excited about that?
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Originally posted March 2012
One gift I have received being the parent of special needs children is my ability to cherish seemingly minor things in life. Even big moments like when your child accomplishes something new, or hits a special milestone are just a little more exciting for us. I know every parent is excited when their child walks or talks for the first time, but imagine if you have to wait 5 or 10 years for that moment. Or if you have a child that never speaks, what it means to you when your other child does say mama or dada. Parenting a special needs child is scary and stressful. You are forced to do things you could never imagine like cleaning poop off everything imaginable, changing diapers on a 7, 8, or 9 year old, living on no sleep for years on end, etc. I could go on and on. Very few people have a realistic picture of this lifestyle. I have to wonder where my daughter is going to fit in this world. I am constantly afraid for her safety. I wonder if my son will ever get control of his emotions, maintain good friendships, be like other little boys, and be successful. But on the other side of all that stress, I have wonderful moments. My 12 year old is finally potty trained day and night. She learned to jump rope and square dance this year. She appeared to be almost swimming. She has started to kiss us (kind of). She is dressing herself. My son went a day without a meltdown. He walked away from a fight. He got straight A’s on his report card. These moments would not be nearly as special if we had not fought so hard and so long for them. I love my daughter, Hailey. She does many wonderful things that we are very proud of her for doing. But when she learns something new, we are not surprised. We expect it, because we always knew she would be able to do it. As much as I love her, and consider her a light in our life, it is just not the same as when Ashley achieves something. And Hailey is special enough to understand this, because she also cherishes her sister’s accomplishments. Yesterday, Ashley brought us deodorant and then raised her arm, and we were excited because she knew what it was and where it went and was more than willing to wear it. Who else but a special needs parent would get excited about that? Like us on Facebook
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