When I went to tell Hailey good night yesterday, she read me something off Instagram that one of her camp friends had written. It was discussing how upset this girl was about the use of the word retarded because she has a sister with special needs. Of course, Hailey was passionately agreeing with her. This moment with Hailey touched my heart for two reasons.
First, I am so thankful for
Camp Barnabas and the friends Hailey has made there. When we first heard of the camp, we were doubtful they would even take Ashley because of her intense special needs. Then we discovered not only are they more than capable of taking care of Ashley, but they also take siblings so we parents can have a real break. I was very concerned about how much Hailey would get out of it. Now I believe she may be getting the most out of the experience. She has remained in contact with several of her camp friends through text, Instagram, and Facebook. She treasures those friendships. These are children that are growing up with special needs siblings, and can truly empathize with her experience. Most people go to camp the same week each year, so she knows once a year they will spend a week together. I believe Josh will have a similar experience when he gets a little older, probably somewhat different for boys though. Camp is truly a blessing for all of us. A rest for the parents. Ashley learns other people can care for her. And Hailey and Josh get a great week, friends who really relate to their experience, and Christian encouragement in their role as siblings of special needs.
It also fills my heart with joy as I am constantly reminded that although Ashley has such a difficult existence, God has truly given her an exceptional sister and brother whom adore her. I keep waiting for the day that Josh or Hailey show signs of resentment or embarrassment regarding Ashley. But they are almost always loving, protective, and devoted to her. Especially Hailey because she is a little older and more aware. When we decided to pull Ashley from public school and have me begin graduate school, we discussed with Hailey that these decisions would definitely create a tighter budget this year. We explained to her that meant we would not be able to go to Disney World as our family vacation this year. Her response was, "Ashley is much more important than Disney World." We have also discussed with her about how important it is for her to work hard in school and get a college scholarship because we know she is capable of it. I half jokingly told Hailey that we would need all our money to go towards supporting Ashley, so she isn't homeless after we die. She said "Oh Ashley will never be homeless." And then she offered to get a job while she is in college to help pay for Josh to go to college. I quickly assured her that she is not responsible for helping out with Josh's college, even if she does have the financial means. But I am so proud of her that, even as a preteen, she is selfless enough to want to help her family and care for her sister and brother. I truly believe that the compassion that Hailey and Josh display can't be developed, it is just innate within them. And what a blessing it is for Ashley and all of us!
originally posted May 2013
When I went to tell Hailey good night yesterday, she read me something off Instagram that one of her camp friends had written. It was discussing how upset this girl was about the use of the word retarded because she has a sister with special needs. Of course, Hailey was passionately agreeing with her. This moment with Hailey touched my heart for two reasons.
First, I am so thankful for Camp Barnabas and the friends Hailey has made there. When we first heard of the camp, we were doubtful they would even take Ashley because of her intense special needs. Then we discovered not only are they more than capable of taking care of Ashley, but they also take siblings so we parents can have a real break. I was very concerned about how much Hailey would get out of it. Now I believe she may be getting the most out of the experience. She has remained in contact with several of her camp friends through text, Instagram, and Facebook. She treasures those friendships. These are children that are growing up with special needs siblings, and can truly empathize with her experience. Most people go to camp the same week each year, so she knows once a year they will spend a week together. I believe Josh will have a similar experience when he gets a little older, probably somewhat different for boys though. Camp is truly a blessing for all of us. A rest for the parents. Ashley learns other people can care for her. And Hailey and Josh get a great week, friends who really relate to their experience, and Christian encouragement in their role as siblings of special needs.
It also fills my heart with joy as I am constantly reminded that although Ashley has such a difficult existence, God has truly given her an exceptional sister and brother whom adore her. I keep waiting for the day that Josh or Hailey show signs of resentment or embarrassment regarding Ashley. But they are almost always loving, protective, and devoted to her. Especially Hailey because she is a little older and more aware. When we decided to pull Ashley from public school and have me begin graduate school, we discussed with Hailey that these decisions would definitely create a tighter budget this year. We explained to her that meant we would not be able to go to Disney World as our family vacation this year. Her response was, "Ashley is much more important than Disney World." We have also discussed with her about how important it is for her to work hard in school and get a college scholarship because we know she is capable of it. I half jokingly told Hailey that we would need all our money to go towards supporting Ashley, so she isn't homeless after we die. She said "Oh Ashley will never be homeless." And then she offered to get a job while she is in college to help pay for Josh to go to college. I quickly assured her that she is not responsible for helping out with Josh's college, even if she does have the financial means. But I am so proud of her that, even as a preteen, she is selfless enough to want to help her family and care for her sister and brother. I truly believe that the compassion that Hailey and Josh display can't be developed, it is just innate within them. And what a blessing it is for Ashley and all of us!
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