Growing Up

I remember when we first discovered Ashley had autism and I was convinced that I would want her with me constantly. I felt like Jason and I were the only ones that could understand her and keep her safe. I even remember thinking that parents who chose to put their child in a boarding school, group home, or any other place other than home with them were just bad parents. Now eleven years later I realize what a harsh judgment that was. Sometimes parents have to make difficult decisions because that is what is in the best interest of their child or family unit. It is not good for a person with special needs to become so attached to their parents that they aren’t able to bond with other people. I believe it is a good thing that my daughter loves me best of all, but she also trusts and accepts many other people into her world. There may come a time I can’t take care of her and I want that to be as easy a transition as possible. I want her to have individuals that she feels safe with and that she enjoys being with, who love her for the delightful person she is. Today, Ashley lives at home with us, but she goes to school where she has her people and she goes to church where she has her other people. I have no idea what the future holds for Ashley. I don’t know if she will live with us, her sister, a group home, or be independent when she is an adult. All I know is I want what is best for her and I want her to be prepared for every option. When she goes to camp this summer that will be a new experience for her, I’m sure she will be a little scared, but I know it will be good for her and a much needed rest for Jason and me. Her sister and brother will be there to support her on her first overnight trip away from home and me, and although I am anxious for her as well, it is the next step towards independence and that is right. At times I want to hold on to that little baby she was, but she does have to grow up, even with autism.

Do not judge others. Then you will not be judged. Matthew 7:1
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:7
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6
Originally posted April 2011