It was 10 years ago this month that Ashley changed due to autism. We went from a happy, beautiful girl who was exceeding all her milestones, to a child who was rapidly losing language and no longer made eye contact. Over the next few months her life permanently changed. We were left wondering how far into this black hole she was going to fall and what could we do to help her. Although I was aware of autism, it had never personally impacted me. Over the last 10 years, I have learned more about this disorder than I ever thought possible. Ashley is profoundly affected by autism. She remains nonverbal and self-injurious. It saddens me to watch the pain she has to endure, and the many wonderful things in life she will never experience. Ashley’s life is not at all what I expected or would have wanted for her, and a part of me will always grieve the happy, social butterfly she was before autism hit. I love Ashley with all my heart. I am amazed by her strength, beauty, and ability to overcome. She has suffered more in the past 10 years, than most people suffer in a lifetime. She has to work so hard to accomplish the things that are just a given for most 12 year olds. And yet still she works, learns, and changes daily. I had a moment with Ashley 10 years ago, before autism completely took her, which has gotten me through a lot of hard days. It was an ordinary day (so I thought) Ashley was in her room, and I went in to check on her. My sweet little girl said “I love you”, and ran across the room to hug me. I will treasure that moment forever. I know most moms have many moments like that, and I have many moments like that with Hailey. But that was the last time Ashley was able to tell me she loved me with her own voice. I believe God has a special plan for Ashley. I will never give up hope, and will continue to fight to reach my daughter trapped within the confines of autism.
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Ashley- Just under age 2, before autism
Originally posted February 2012
It was 10 years ago this month that Ashley changed due to autism. We went from a happy, beautiful girl who was exceeding all her milestones, to a child who was rapidly losing language and no longer made eye contact. Over the next few months her life permanently changed. We were left wondering how far into this black hole she was going to fall and what could we do to help her. Although I was aware of autism, it had never personally impacted me. Over the last 10 years, I have learned more about this disorder than I ever thought possible. Ashley is profoundly affected by autism. She remains nonverbal and self-injurious. It saddens me to watch the pain she has to endure, and the many wonderful things in life she will never experience. Ashley’s life is not at all what I expected or would have wanted for her, and a part of me will always grieve the happy, social butterfly she was before autism hit. I love Ashley with all my heart. I am amazed by her strength, beauty, and ability to overcome. She has suffered more in the past 10 years, than most people suffer in a lifetime. She has to work so hard to accomplish the things that are just a given for most 12 year olds. And yet still she works, learns, and changes daily. I had a moment with Ashley 10 years ago, before autism completely took her, which has gotten me through a lot of hard days. It was an ordinary day (so I thought) Ashley was in her room, and I went in to check on her. My sweet little girl said “I love you”, and ran across the room to hug me. I will treasure that moment forever. I know most moms have many moments like that, and I have many moments like that with Hailey. But that was the last time Ashley was able to tell me she loved me with her own voice. I believe God has a special plan for Ashley. I will never give up hope, and will continue to fight to reach my daughter trapped within the confines of autism. Like us on facebook
Ashley- Just under age 2, before autism
Originally posted February 2012
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